Lies mother-in-laws tell

Our next submission is from an anonymous user:

My mother in law lies about my to everyone. She tells others that the reason her son isn't at any family functions is because i feel my family is superior and more important when in fact she just drives him crazy. She is mean and rude. She was going to not even come to my bridal shower and told my matron of honor and my mother that they were not to include any of her family members because no one would be attending. Luckily, my finacé laid down the law and she attended, but made snide comments the entire time and refused to talk to anyone, including me.

She has told me in the past that I do not belong and I am not apart of the family. That I look down on her and her family when I have made every effort to include them in the wedding. She is embarassing my fiancé and he feels terrible that she is so cruel. No one can curb her out of control behavior, and we've all tried. What the heck do I do now? Is it going to be like this for the rest of our lives?? I can't stand this!!

Has your fiancé told his mother to curb her behavior? As much as it drives you crazy, it is very hard for you to say anything that will make a difference. Your future husband must be the one to tell her that her behavior is unacceptable. He may even need to go so far as to tell her that he won't visit or see her if she continues this way.

And he needs to make it clear that he's doing the talking, not you. If she feels that he was "put up to" it, then it will only make her more angry & give her fuel for her rantings. She needs to understand that her snide comments & rude behavior are unacceptable. You are going to be part of his family and his mother needs to accept it. If she doesn't, then she has to accept the consequences of her actions.

Another submission, from mistie

This is our next submission, from a reader named Mistie:

My mother in law is absolutely driving me insane. She is completely obsessed with my husband. She decided to wear a white dress that made her look like the bride to our wedding. Tried to take away a room reserved for her own sister for the wedding, (paid for by my parents.) To give to her thirteen year old son and his friend who wasn't invited to the wedding.

She was allowed to invite 30 relatives to the wedding to make her feel included. I was informed that I had to invite 60 which is more than my husband was allowed to invite total. My mother in law couldn't seem to drive the best man to the church due to driving her younger sons friend. We had to remove the best man for this. She expects us to send her all of our pictures however she didn't pay for anything except meat at the rehearsal dinner, which was done for her by relatives, and didn't send a wedding present.

She was over bearing when my husband and I were dating. On my birthday when I traveled twelve hours to be with my husband due to living in different states at the time because we are military members. She wouldn't even let me go get my hair colored without being in the car with us.

She showed up at my grandfather, (whom she never met.)'s funeral to look for my husband and hounded my parents at the funeral to go take them to see the church where we were getting married. She tried to alter my flower arrangements for my wedding even though she paid for none of it. The florist told her to leave and called me.

Now she plans on coming to visit us in a different state to see us. I have been warned this will be an unannounced visit. Everything except the birthday incident has happened in the past month someone please help me deal with this horrible woman.

Mistie, this woman sounds like she is in desperate need of attention. Is your father-in-law in the picture? You didn't mention him at all.

If your husband wants her in his life to some extent, then you'll have to tolerate her a little. But that doesn't mean she needs to walk all over you. You and your husband must set boundaries for her. And your husband needs to talk to her.

Has he tried talking to her, or does he cave when she whines? Is he a momma's boy, or does he know how to stand up to her?

What say you, readers? How should Mistie deal with her annoying mother-in-law